I am consumed lately by a flaw I was hoping to be rid of by now. The flaw of expectation.

When you expect things of people it's very hard not to be let down. As much as we like to believe there's a right and wrong way to be, none of has anything more than theories. There's nothing in nature (other than our apparent tendencies as a group) to indicate what proper morality is. Likely it simply doesn't exist.

In any event, people are all different. They obseve the world differently, they parse their data differently, and they have been programmed with theories and surrounded by different variables. This means that what we expect of them with be dependent on their biological makeup and their experiences, both of which differ from ours in significant ways.

I think my biggest downfall is hope. I'd like to think that there are people out there who think like me. Not that I don't realize that my life view could be completely off, just that I'd like it to be right and I'd like others to see it too. So when I find someone who is of like mind as me I get pretty excited.

The problem with progessive thinkers is we are a very small minority. This means that everything we see and encounter is telling us that we are wrong. The weaker of will you are, the more these factors will influence you.

Not caring about money is nice, but when push comes to shove it's a hard thing to do. Even if you want to live poor in the US it still takes more money than most people in the world earn. If you are rich you can give your money to charity and to friends, but the way we were all raised we expect something in return. No matter how benevolent an act may seem, there seems to be this little trigger that goes off expecting a reward or at least payback.

I wonder what would happen to me if I were rich. I don't like to think about it. I don't want to be rich. I want to be peaceful.

I have never seen money do any good. Not once. The atmosphere created in the world now is one of constant competition/survival of the fittest. Only we aren't competing against our environment, not really. We are competing against each other. And we justify everything we do in this great competition by comparing it to the other guy. But when the other guy is being destructive, what kind of example is that to follow?

The people hungry for money and power must at some point realize how fleeting both are, how pointless it is to acquire, how many people, animals, communities, ecosystems, and whatever else they destroy on their way.

I assume it's too late for humanity. Even if the desire to change grows enough it doesn't seem possible that it can overcome individual ambition. it's just a shame, we had so much potential.